You Asked: What Are the Effects of Rape?

There are a wide range of short-term and long-term psychological effects that an individual victim may experience. The nature of the assault, use of a weapon, threats, violence, serious physical injuries, and relationship to the offender are some of the factors that can differentially affect the impact of rape on a particular victim. Those with a previous history of sexual abuse or other trauma are likely to be more severely affected by rape.

The immediate effects a victim may experience include shock, confusion, numbness, fear, anger, withdrawal, self-blame, guilt, shame, and denial. In the following weeks, victims often experience intense and unpredictable emotions, nightmares, flashbacks, difficulty sleeping, problems concentrating, feeling unsafe, and isolating from family and friends. Some victims may have great difficulty functioning in their daily life. Others cope by blocking their memories and feelings. Many cling to a semblance of normality as a way to deny the impact of their experience.

In the months following a rape, victims often have symptoms of depression or traumatic stress. They are more likely to abuse alcohol or drugs to control their symptoms. Nearly one-third have thoughts of suicide, and approximately 17% actually attempt suicide. Thirty-percent of victims will go on to develop Major Depressive or Post-traumatic Stress Disorders in their lifetime. Long-term negative effects on sexuality and the ability to form or maintain trusting relationships are common.

You may have noticed I have avoided gender pronouns. Although we most often think of females as rape victims, males are also victimized (estimates range from 10%- 20%). The effects on male victims are similar to those on female victims, but they are more likely to experience intense anger and aggression. They are also less likely to tell anyone about their experience or to seek help. Because the vast majority of offenders are men, it is not uncommon for male victims to question their own sexual orientation after the event.

It is essential for rape victims to seek help from mental health professionals with specialized training and experience. Rape crisis centers throughout the U.S. offer immediate support and counseling to help victims recover. You can search for a center in your community through RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network). You can also call their hotline 1.800.656.HOPE, or speak to someone online for information and support. The following video explains how the hotlines work and the kind of help available at rape crisis centers.


80 comments:

  1. I like this blog about abuse. It's nice to

    find someone who is using blogger to speak out

    on rape and post traumatic stress disorder.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm a rape victim, still currently being sexually abused on a daily basis. It's like it has now become part of my life, and I guess it's just... is comforting the word? to hear that these things I'm feeling are common.
    I guess it also helps me deal with it... kinda....
    Anyway

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so sorry you are or were going thru this.Please tell someone....Get some help......I'm praying for you..

      Delete
  3. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I'm glad you found my article helpful. You didn't say what age you are, but if you are under 18, you can get help to stop the abuse. Call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453). It's free and anonymous. If you are an adult, please find someone you trust to talk to who can help you make a plan to leave your situation. The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1−800−799−SAFE (7233) can give you some advice.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi,
    I was raped when I was 17 years old. Now I'm 22 and I recently got engaged to a man who loves me a lot. But I'm unable to bond with him and to trust him completely. I know it bothers him too. I feel numb at times and sometimes I daze out things that are happening to me. I did it back then when I was abused, I denied it and I hazed it out and now I've developed a habit of it. I feel dazed most of the time. I don't feel good even when something good happens. Don't feel bad when something bad happens. The only feeling I have is the fear that I'll be able to fit into situations or not. That's what I strive at the most. That's the only reason for my survival till now. I don't know what to do... I am too ashamed to go to a psychologist. I don't want to talk to my fiance about it. I don't want anyone to sympathize with me. It's like a loop which I cannot get out of.. Please help..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your just described how ive been feeling for the past 6& a half months im only 15 but ive been raped 4 times by different men its been like .. how you said.. i dont even no where to begin..or what can help me..its likes ive been emontionally tramatized forever ive never talked to anyone- mostly because i lost my bestfriend after because i was doin crystal meth with her so i told her to get the fuck out of mty life basically. But my sotry about rape is way more then i could ever try to explain to someone in person, you know those movies you see..where theres those Arabian men and they have a bunch of white little girls.. that was me.. and a couple of my friends.. its like they took turns with us... like we were just a piece of nothing..like...i saw things... i saw my bestfriends being done up the ass by fucking nasty pigs! They would record them doing things... and would get us drunk and then make us drink some clear liquiod and i would wake up...half naked with some man having sex with me. <--- thats my story but with so much more, i cant type for an hour lol. But PlEASe!!!! Talk to someone!!! Dont you dare be ashamed its NOT ur fault your a beautiful beautiful person that just deserves love and respect. I know how hard it is and you cant ever forget because i know for me... if its not one of the first things i think about when i wake up... i think about it later in the day.. and it doesnt leave my head. I get so sad and just wanting to explain my story just so someome can comfort me instead of talking about there feelings and not letting me talk. So please i know im younger then you but just do it. You should be happy. Even tho things can be so hard. Xo - Stay Golden

      Delete
    2. When I was really young I was sexually abused. I've had alot of these symptoms my whole life and last year when I was 15 my 18 year old boyfriend forced me to have sex with him even though id cry the whole time. Now I'm with someone very loving who I have actually been able to tell some of this too. He keeps asking how he can help me and I don't know what to tell him to do to help me. I also can't go to a psychiatrist because I don't think I could live with myself if I had to tell my mom that my x and my neighbor when I was a child abused me this way because she would blame herself and be so upset and I can't handle the way she would look at me.

      Delete
  5. The feelings you are having--mistrust, numb, dazed, fear and shame--are feelings that many survivors of rape and sexual abuse have. Talking to someone who understands can help. Call the RAINN Hotline (click the link in the post above). You don't have to say who you are. You can call as often as you want until you are ready to try meeting with a psychologist. Your fiance can also call so he can learn why trust is so hard for survivors, and what he can do to help support you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I was raped when I was 22. I was able to escape my offender. I was lucky not to endure any physical abuse while it happened. What got me thru the ordeal is that I came out alive. I'm not saying it is something you forget. I am saying so many before me died at the hands of their abusers. I am not ashame, I do not have guilt or low self-esteem. It was not my fault. The sick person who did this was at fault. By the way he was caught. I am grateful to live a life everyday. If you are still being abused, leave the situation and please, please tell someone who will help you. You will find it not as hard as it seems.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was recently assulted by an ex boyfriend. It still haunts me course it happened over 2wks ago. I'm 19 and I'm so scared...feel like I can't trust guys anymore except for 3 really close guys...I completely hate him I tried to get rid of him tech wise (blocked him from facebook and skype and deleted his number off my phone)I told my parents and brother and trusted friends what happened. They won't leave me alone anymore. I've been going into my parents work. I've wanted to go to the police but I just don't know who to listen to anymore my parents say no but my friends say bust him. So confusing that it makes me want to scream and cry! I don't want guys to touch me, I don't feel like I can trust them when it comes to relationships. I even had my bedroom curtains pinned/clipped together so no one could look into my room. I finally unpinnned/unclipped them...my friends have been so sweet and have been supportive but it still doesn't stop me from crying and being scared or depressed...I just wish I knew what to do...

      Delete
    2. your parents say not to go to the police? in this situation, think about how this makes you feel? would you want this to happen to someone else? if not you need to report this. your parenst and friends were not the ones who got raped that night. YOU ARE! so you need to actively take a stand and report him. you have no idea who or how many you'd be saving.

      Delete
  7. Thank you for sharing your experience with other readers. Although many helpers tell victims that it is not their fault, it means more coming from another victim.

    ReplyDelete
  8. i grew up having sometype of sexual things with a male cousing he is 7 years older than me as i remember we always did something we would hide and have oral sex masturbate each other and stuff like that i was like 17 when i stopped doing it thats when i realized that wasnt normal for us to do but now i think it affected me in my personal life now im 21 and i kinda feel attracted to males but that is something i dont want i love females and ive had experiences with females and i like it but just to know that i get turned on by males to bothers me i really dont know what to do i want to talk to a psychologist about it or something because i dont want to be gay or nothing like that can anyone help me or give me any suggestions

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I completely understand you, when I was around 7 through age 10 I had done the same things with another boy then at 11 it transitioned me into getting too comfortable with two older boys at boyscouts and I was raped. I feel an attraction to men but only love women and only want to be attracted to women. I'm also 21 now, and it's screwed with my relationships because I can't help but get dominant and violent in bed.

      Delete
  9. It's common for male victims who have been sexually abused by males to be confused about their sexual orientation. I suggest going to the website www.malesurvivor.org. There you can find information, read survivor stories, and participate in the discussion board or chat room. One of the forums in the discussion board is on sexual identity issues. There is a directory of psychologists and other therapists who specialize in helping male survivors. There is also an article about finding a therapist if there isn't one listed in your area. A good therapist can help you sort out your sexuality as well as help you work through the other ways your experiences have affected you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I was raped when I was ten. By someone who I thought I could trust. I never told anyone, not ven my parents. It's been nine years, but I still get really depressed and down on myself, nightmares, anger. And I recently tried to kill myself. My parents don't see why I would try to take my own life, they keep telling me I've had a pretty priveleged life, and I have no idea how to tell them about what happened to me, and the fact that I think I probably would have been better off just letting him kill me instead. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can tell them?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I read your post and I want to tell you something .my daughter she is 10 now she told me when she was 9 that my fiancé had been raping her for two Yrs. The point is their is no great way to tell a parent,my daughter told me crying in a doctor office.You are giving the perpetrator power right now,when you tell you are in a sense taking it back.Take a deep breathe ,TELL THEM and say what has held you prisoner for so long.They want to help Let them

      Delete
  11. There is a reason you haven't been able to tell your parents. It could be that you are afraid they won't believe you or that they will blame you. Maybe you don't think they will be supportive. A counselor or therapist who specializes in working with rape victims can help you figure out how to tell your parents. You can find one by contacting your local sexual assault center. They have counselors who can help you prepare for the different ways your parents might respond and support you through the process of telling them. You can find a center through the RAINN hotline 1-800-656-HOPE. Please call the RAINN hotline or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-TALK if you feel suicidal again. You can call anytime you need to talk to someone, day or night.

    ReplyDelete
  12. My sister was raped when she was 7 she never told anyone she strugled all her life she kept her secret after her marriage broke down she was just 35 commited suicide before her death she said to me something happed to me when i was 7 years and if i tell you what,you will never rest .

    Please tell your family your freinds. There is nothing worse than keeping this Monster secret.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I was raped on the playground of my elementary when I was 9. I was chased by one older boy and two others were waiting and one jumped up and kicked me in the chest and knocked me down. The two boys held me down while the first raped me and the entire playground huddled around laughing and chanting. Once they were done I sat on a bench outside, never going back in. I was dazed, didn't really understand what happened. I sat for hours. School ended and sat a while longer. I was afraid to go home. Once I saw it was starting to get dark I took off walking home. Little did I know those same boys were waiting for me. This time they had another young boy my age and they forced him to watch but this time they all took turns. They then beat me, kicked me in the head until I went out cold. Their intent was for me to not live but I did. Considering this was back in 1971 people didn't talk about things. So with that being said my parents insisted it ever happened. It really hit me at age 13 when I took my first child development class and learned what the anatomy was all about. The flashbacks have always been the hardest as you never know when they are going to happen, that and the dreams. You would think after this many years it would stop. It is more the sever beating, rage in their eyes and the extreme fear and control. Even when I pretended to be out they beat me until I did.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I was raped many times by my child's father. That's how I became a mother. The actual act of what happened plays non stop in my head, at the most inopportune times. My son is almost two years old and no one really knows what happened to me. People ask me why I don't let my son see his father. Besides him being a habitual liar and a convicted sex offender, I don't want to see the man who repeatedly raped me. Every time he abused me he took a piece of who I was. I don't want him looking at my body and wanting to rape me again. Its crazy how when he is around me or calls or text my phone I feel so small. I feel like I'm under him again being held down and ripped open. Its still hard for me as you can probably tell.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I was raped from 11-16 yrs old by my step dad. he's dead now. overdose. I don't know if I should hate him or love him. I kinda feel bot.h I still get panicy when I talk about it and I nearly had a heart attack the last time he tryed to talk to me. I go from feeling nothing for weeks to extream happyness or sadness in seconds. it effects my relationship with boyfriend. he taller then me and sometimes he yells and it scares me so much I can move for a whole 1/2 hour. he dosnt notice cuz I read while he's playing x box. I sit at his feet while he plays. I'm woundering if I should just brake up with him and tell him to find some one better for him?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I personally believe that you should sever the relationship between you and him. He is demonstrating the early stages of an abuser and will escalate if you aren't blithe. Sometimes, breaking up with him is tremendously difficult because you feel that hurting him will be your fault and become depressed despite your decision. Sincerely, I've survived what I've been through when I was a child but it's not explicitly hard to overcome. Take my advice, someone who survived and studies psychology to help those who are suffering. If a man cannot respect you and kindly talk to you, then he isn't worth your time.

      Delete
  16. Relationships are often difficult for abuse survivors. Does your boyfriend know about your abuse? If so, you can tell him how his behavior affects you. As for breaking up with him, that should be because it is better for you, not for him.

    About your step-dad. Mixed feelings of love-hate are common when the abuser is a parent or other close relative. Therapy go help you work through them as well as your reactions in relationships.

    ReplyDelete
  17. my boyfriend knows I was abused but he dosnt know the kind of abuse. that's how I was tought to think only about HIS happyness.my mom dosnt have the money or time to spend on therapy.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I was molested by my sister's husband. when i finally told he said he was crying out a medical exam on me. nobody believed him, i begged my paremts to tek me for counselling which they did. i thot it was all over bcoz dats what my shrink told me. but its not i have just discovered i have what you call, OCD every tym i thnk about it i go lyk i hav a disorder dat means m crazy ryt? my sister is still with the guy,so each tym i go see her i meet him pretending nothing happened. i realy wsh my parents pressed charges bcoz m prety sure he will attack another trusting gal. he and i were bestfriends b4 t happened.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I was rape by my cousin when I was 4 years old. I feel like now it bought a lot of damage to my life. I don't think no one knows the pain that I feel sometimes, and I also have flashbacks often. I really want to tell my mom, but I want to wait until my cousin dies, because I am really scared that I am going to break up the family. I am 19 yeas old now and it still bothers me, and I still feel very uncomfortable around him at family events. I feel that he think I don't remember anything, because I was so young, but trust me I do. I wish I can just overcome this, and I pray to God about it. I really wish that I can tell me parents.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  20. It is hard to overcome rape when it is a secret and you are not getting help. If telling your mother causes the family to break-up, it is not your fault. It is the fault of your cousin. Telling about what he did to you may stop him from hurting others. You would be helping yourself and them by telling. Do you think your mother will believe you and support you? Then I believe telling her can help you recover.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I was raped by own father at a very young age. it started when I was not even a year old and escalated until he went the entire way, which is the part I remember most vividly. I was only 3 years old, and though I can't remember my emotions at that time I remember the entire environment and him telling me if I said a word to anyone that he would kill my mom. at that time my parents had been separated and I was visiting his apartment as a part of a custody thing. when I arrived back at my moms house I was so sick and sore I could barely move and was puking. they knew something had happened so I told them, and went to a doctor the next day and he saw that my hymen had been broken and that I had to go on antibiotics for an infection.

    eventually we went to court and back then I wasnt allowed to speak, and unfortunately they took his side saying it couldve easily been my mother who had abused me and he got away with it. and after much pleading they let the custody be lifted so I wouldnt have to see him again. I just hope if he had kids that he isnt abusing them.

    I'm in my 20s now, growing up was hard for me emotionally and being the shy girl I am was easily a target for bullies. I can say that I do believe my life would've been much different had I had a real father. however it has made me much more aware and have a great deal of empathy for those going through difficult periods in their life, and I always do my best to improve everyone else's lives around me even if I don't know what to do with myself. I'm also an only child, the only thing i wonder about is how I've managed to stay sober and stable minded after all of the trauma and heartache I've been through without therapy. but mainly I owe it all to the people who have been there for me in life. you also have to be open about it and accept it for what it is and not hide, just face those feelings head on and think ahead to what you can do in life to make yourself have self worth.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I was raped by my own brothers. It started when I was 10 years old and lasted until I was 18. It started out as a play and before I know it happened every time my parents weren't home. sometime I resist sometime I don't. I remember getting beaten by older brother, who is one year older than me. My mother caught us when I was 15, she punished my brothers and me. but it didn't stop us, I eventually started enjoying it.I felt sexual all the time. only time I felt secure was when I was out with my friends. I was always scared of coming back home. my mother passed away when I was 16 1/2. It hit me hard because I was close to my mother. after 6 months, my sexual encounters restarted with my brothers. Once we moved to US, he realized his mistakes, he told me why he did all that. he told me it was one of our cousins who raped him and encouraged him to rape me. I felt sorry for my brother. After that My older brother became over protective of me so I chose online life to find bf. I had my first bf when I was 20. My reason behind getting a bf was to feel secure about my past. I thought if I do a love marriage then the guy would love me enough to understand what happened with me. I really loved and trusted him, so I told him about my abuse and I believe it encouraged him to have sex with me. Our relation ended soon after we had sex. then I jumped into next relation just for sex. But I ended it as soon as I felt guilty. Since then I do phone sex but never had real sexual encounter. usually my online relations last couple months, but last relation lasted only couple days. I felt my love faded for the guy as soon as our mutual friend told me about this guy's past. I find it hard to trust any guy anymore.

    sometime I feel like I'm living double life, one as a really quite nice girl and other as a wild sexual girl. Sometime I feel like a whore. Now I'm 26 years old at an age where I should be married and only option I have is getting into arrange marriage. I'm scared how my future husband will handle my personality.
    I try to block out that part of my childhood, but whenever I hear another child sexual abuse, everything comes back to me. I believe I forgave my brothers, but couldn't forgive myself. I think it really shattered my personality. I have anger issues and I don't stand up for myself. In a difficult situation I bail out. I try to avoid all conflicts. I let people over run me all the time. I feel that's also happening to me in my professional live. I love to make friends but most of my friendships ends in dark as they start ignoring me. I feel ignored by my friends. I take risks and I love being adventurous. I'm an emotional girl. but my brother tells me not to show my emotions to anyone. I tried to start writing a diary, but they always read it, so I stop writing what I feel. all I ever wanted is a normal life. I don't know life seems so confusing all the time. whenever I need to make a decision, I always feel confused.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I was raped many times by a relative when I was 5. now I am 25. I don't have flash backs of those moments and I haven't really thought about it since. now I am diagnosed with depression and I sometimes have panic attacks, I don't remember much of those times. If I'm not thinking of it could it be that it didn't have alot af impact on me and the symptons I have now be because of something else? thanks

    ReplyDelete
  24. Sexual abuse can lead to depression with or without PTSD, especially when the abuse was by a close relative over a period of time. It is unlikely that your abuse didn't have much impact on you, but there may be other reasons you are experiencing problems now. The negative effects of abuse include problems trusting others, poor self-concept, and both can affect the kinds of relationships you have with others. These are the issues that often lead adults who were abused as children to seek therapy as adults. A good therapist can help you sort out the source of your symptoms.

    ReplyDelete
  25. is it normal for a child who was sexually abused by a cousin at a young age to grow up and notice no psychological effects due to the abuse? Could the victim possibly be suffering of some effect but not notice it? Is a need for attention considered an effect?

    ReplyDelete
  26. I was raped twice in the past. The first time was by my then boyfriend, I was 14 and he was 16. He took my virginity. I broke up with him afterwards and blamed myself for what happened because I was drunk. I had another boyfriend who I completely fell for who cheated on me, which affected me enormously. I then started going out with my next boyfriend and two months into the relationship I went away to a christian holiday camp with my mum and friends. This was where I ended up getting drugged and raped by two 18 year old boys. I didn't tell anyone and kept it from my family and my boyfriend. I again, blamed myself for what had happened. I continued going out with this guy for 2 years after (him never knowing what happened) and that relationship ended in him cheating on me.

    I went through a phase of being very promiscuous for years, then met my now boyfriend. We were very happy and content in our relationship and he was the first person I told about what happened to me. He was very supportive and made me realise that what had happened was not my fault. Although we've always had problems sexually, as I panic sometimes at the thought of sex. I had been on anti-anxiety pills for the past year, during which time I became numb to emotion. At the same time, my boyfriend was struggling with the beginnings of biploar disorder. This had a huge effect on me and I became depressed and cheated on him. I told him about this recently and we're having major problems. I don't know what parts of my sexual behaviours may have been changed because of my experiences and whether it's too late to make ammends (I'm 22 now). Please help.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I have read each and everyone of you all stories and my heart goes out to all of you. No, i have never been raped or mentally abuse but you all have showed me how blessed i am i mean i usually do not think about that or people in that situation. I thank you all for allowing me to read this and i just want to let you guys know its not your fault at all you have done nothing wrong and i hope you all find happiness but not just in other people but in your selves the most. These people may have taken your innocence but just think you guys are still here and you telling your stories are helping people more than you know. MUCH LOVE GOD BLESS

    ReplyDelete
  28. My husband was raped (statutory) at the age of 11 by his 16 yr old babysitter. He doesn't remember much about the incident and she never babysat for him again. He did not tell anyone, but as an adult, he has engaged in promiscuous sex acts with women that he did not know or barely knew over many years. He would also become suicidal if he was not in a relationship with a women and jumped from one relationship to another quickly. He has had 3 affairs during our marriage and also cheated many times on his previous wife. He has anxiety at times. Can all of this behavior be a result of his (consensual) rape as a boy?? Would it do him some good to try and recall those memories? Each time prior to engaging in an affair, he felt hopeless, lost, like he was in a dark tunnel unable to get out, and that our marriage was "over" in his eyes. He also always chooses women who are very strong and dominate him and he always submits, even when it's clear that it's an unhealthy situation. I just want to help him.

    ReplyDelete
  29. i am a male, i was raped when i was 11 to 13 years by my father's friend, after 2 years i have raped a child i was 3 y older than him as a game.i was completely not aware what i am i doing.now i am 26 y old my mother knew the last part but i didn't tell her about the first. she is completely not supportive, instead she blamed me and till now she is looking down on me. i am suffering till now, i tried to have a normal life but i couldn't trust myself or any other girl after what my mom has done. i had very difficult time during my childhood. i have no problem in my sexual orientation, now i am about to commit in a relationship. please help me how to trust myself and others again. thank u.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Last year i was raped by a guy i thought was my friend. I was nineteen and had never had sex. I'm someone who buries my feelings and I did for a while until i found out i was pregnant. I hated the thought of killing the child but i hated the thought of seeing the child especially with how it was created. I did dangerous activities like drinking and drugs. one night out drinking i had pain going up my body from down ther and i went to a toilet and I was bleeding. I had caused the death of the child and feel so guilty for it. I have a really caring boyfriend now and I've told him and he won't push me for anything but i'm still scared that he will hurt me. everythings coming back and i've started to self harm but im too ashamed to seek professional help. what can i do?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi,

      first of all, I want to tell you that having a miscarrige probably had very little if anything to do with what you were doing. Women have experienced drugs, alcohol, poisioning, violence, starvation and other harmful things and still given birth to live babies. Usually if a woman has a miscarrige it is because the child didn't implant properly or there was somethin wrong with it. Now that you know that try not to be so hard on yourself.

      Also, if you are harming yourself you need to seek help. If you aren't ready to see someone face to face there is probably a number you can call. I don't know what part of the world you are in. If you are in the United States you might think about calling RAINN. Ther number is 1-800-656-HOPE
      If you live outside of the United States (like me) RAINN's website has a list of resources. You can find them here
      http://www.rainn.org/get-help/sexual-assault-and-rape-international-resources

      Also, I personally find listening to the music of Tori Amos helpful and watching some of her interviews about overcoming rape. You might find it helpful, or not, just puting it out there.

      With time things will get easier.

      Ava

      Delete
  31. I'm 17 years old. I was raped many times by my uncle & it all started when i was 7. I always knew he had but as i grew older i denied it. i try to avoid him as much as possible and i never thought about it as much of a big problem , until i began a relationship with a boy, we have had sex and when we began to i started to have more clear details about what my uncle did to me. this makes me feel bad and unwanted . like i don't have the right to be with someone. i don't know what to do.. i feel like theres something wrong with me.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I was raped by my cousin when I was 5 - I put the memory away somehow until the first serious relationship I entered into (my ex husband). I found it really difficult being in a relationship with him, he could be emotionally quite cruel. Looking back on it (I'm 41 now), I didn't think I deserved any better. He needed someone to love him, I wanted to give love and be loved in return. We had a child when I was 26 and I got post natal depression. We had alot of problems as a couple that were magnified with the birth of our son. I talked about leaving him, we became involved in a mental power struggle. And then he also raped me, I was 28. Just once (and yes, he knew I'd been raped when I was a little girl). I was devastated when I learnt I'd conceived a child and then carried extra guilt and shame when I miscarried 2 months later. I had another relationship with a man in my mid/late 30's and that ended badly after our daughter was born and I got post natal again. Our relationship went south when he put himself before my son - noone will get close to harming my children emotionally or physically while I draw breath if I can help it. So now I find myself in a third serious relationship. He's wonderful, loving, kind, wants to get married eventually and is great with my kids. I thought I'd grown as a person over the past several years in particular but all of a sudden I'm behaving like this freaky, moody, suspicious, distrustful and fearful little girl who is having a great deal of trouble sleeping and is constantly having nightmares about affairs. I find I'm constantly struggling with myself on negative perceptions (the self loathing is unbelievable actually, I never realised how bad this was) and thoughts which are centred around me believing my partner is going to hurt me emotionally in particular. I have read all your stories and shed so many tears doing so. I hope you can all make peace with the things that haunt your waking and sleeping hours, just like I am trying to.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Im a 16 yearold boy and when i was 4 years old i remember my uncle would make me be his "sex slave" and would do lots of sexual things with me. I never liked it and i would cry all the time when i was 4 and i dont even remember everything so clearly. This really confused me about my sexual orientation when i grew older. I feel attracted to males because of what my uncle did to me from a young age and i also feel attracted to females. Not only did i never get over it but i have really bad flashbacks and i get really depressed about it. I never told anybody about what happened. recently i had a girlfriend and when we were going to have sex i started shaking and couldnt. If i ever do anything sexual i start shaking and it makes me very uncomfortable. It was really embarracing what happened with my ex girlfriend and i felt like a loser. I really dont know what yo do anymore. what should i do to help myslef?

    ReplyDelete
  34. Last year I was 12 years old I met up with my friend Gemma and her boyfriend. He was 17 and she was 13, I didn't like him at all. Then he started kissing me infront of her and then he sexually abused me. She hit him in the head with a stone and he stop before he put his hand down my pants. She still blaims me for it. Two weeks later I had a sleepover with a friend Beth. She took me to her sisters house an 1 hour trip away from where i live for the sleepover. it was great at first but then she started telling me about how this girl and her touched each other and what they did after that. I got really scared when she started kissing me on my chest and i just went numb. I turned around and said "Night" to her. A hour later she was touching me and kissing me sayin "If I was a boy I would go out with you." and "Your beautiful." I couldn't move i was that scared but i did do hit her when she tried pulling my pj's down. I tried phoning my mum but I had no conection. A week later I told my teacher, then she told other teachers. They told me to be friends with her and i was making it up. I didn't want to have loads of detetions because i ignored her so for the past year I had t pretend that she was my friend and it never happened. Last week I stood up for myself and told her the truth and that I never want to be friends with her and that she should leave me alone. But all it did was make me an outcast at school and I hate myself. Last year i did try to kill myself because everyone blaimed me for what has happened to me. every night I have nightmares and my grades at school have fallen down. The only people who believe me are my four friends and my step-mum. I hate my life as people think they can use me whenever they want and don't care about how I feel.
    P.S. Sorry that it's long :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. i have spent most of my childhood at my aunts place. she has a daughter who is 9 years older than me and a son who is 13 years older than me. We had a lot of sleepovers. when I was a little girl I would wake up in the middle of the night finding him to be doing sexual things to me. i Would move a little so that he would back off. He soon shifted abroad but when he visited he was still the same person, even after years. I was 13 when he returned and he was sleeping over at my house. All of us were in a room. i was asleep and i woke up to find him next to me again using me as a sexual tool. Recently his sister got married therefore we stayed at my aunts house for a night, that night i did not fall asleep soon but he came to me and used me as a sexualtool again. I pretended to sleep and kept shrugging off, as if I was being disturbed in my sleep. However, I can not forget his hand gestures and all. They keep repeating in my mind and my childhood also pinches me. I could not throw a tantrum because his mother would never believe me, I know that due to an experience. He had the guts to do everything in a room full of people, my siblings and his mother. I can not even tell me mother because she is a patient of bipolar disorder herself and I don't want her to lose her sister whom she loves dearly, nor do I want to be the reason for family disputes. My mother would also feel i enjoyed it as i did not inform her earlier- this might be my own perception, but it is possible. I am also guilty, I let this happen, and I am disturbed. I know i'll have to see him again. He doesn't know I know about this, he thinks i was asleepp, therefore i pretend to be oblivious and act as if everything is fine. I need help to get over this

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its not your fault. Its never ever the victims fault. I know it feels that way because I let my x get away with sexually assulting me. I feel like its my fault but I know he was the one to blame not me and you need to realize this as well. It was his fault not yours

      Delete
  36. I was molested and raped by my cousins when I was 6. It continued on until I turned 9 and I came to the US, I'm from South America.I am now 15 going to 16 in a few months. I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and take medication for it. I have a boyfriend who loves me very, very, very much. We talked about having sex someday (with contraceptives)although he didn't know about what happened. We were about to do it, he moved to my pants and tried to unbutton them but suddenly I didn't feel his hands, I felt my cousins hands. I pushed him away and cried hysterically. He came up and asked me what was wrong. I finally told him. It felt good to tell someone but it felt wrong. He said that if I don't feel comfortable, we don't have to do anything and he held me the entire time. He is the only person I've ever talked to about it, I told my mom but I didn't tell her everything like I did with him. He says he can wait until I feel ready or comfortable but he has no idea how bad and guilty and ashamed I feel, its not fair not him. I tried talking with a therapist but it only helped a little. The part that I hate about all of this is that my mom called my aunt and told her about it and confronted my cousin, my male cousin is now 19 and my female cousin is now 20. The worst part of it all: they deny it. They say that I'm making stuff up for attention, why in the world would they hurt me, thier favorite litttle cousin? they said that they love me. I tried to commit suicide a few times but I've gotten help for it. After writing this, I feel better, I've never thought I would ever talk about this. Its nice to know that I'm not alone, that people out there know what I've been through. I believe that if we all come together, we will get though this.

    ReplyDelete
  37. i want to find out what my standing is at this moment. i was only for when i had sex with a six year old boy. i don't know if to call it abuse because we were both minors. this was started by an elder cousin of ours who taught us the game but he did not do it to me. Now my question is Am I still a virgin. its really tormenting me because i only got to know that the game we played was sex when i was 12. to be honest i am 23 now and i just don't want any guy to touch me.

    i need to know if my hymen could have broken.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I was mollested by my stepdad at the time until I was 8 when he raped me... no one knew about the mollestation, but I started getting a rash from anxiouty of it all. So when I was going to the doctor about the rash on the car ride there I told my mom... she took me to the appointment and he was arrested that night... I always thought I handle it ok... I'm 22 and have no real issues with it other then anxiouty that manifests its way to ocd... my problem is that with any new relationship I worry how do I tell him, how will he react, and trusting men now is hard, and I don't know how to explain why, or when I should say something... I've only been with one guy, and we were togther 2 and a half years but we broke up a year ago so I'm looking to date and idk how to trust and let people in or how to tell them... I've tried phycologists and they just piss me off and I tried one that was specialised in rape and I realised I do have problems with it but I didn't want to go back to her cause I just would rather push it down and ignor it but clearly that's not working wither... I don't know what to do

    ReplyDelete
  39. Hi Chloe,

    sorry this response is so long.

    my name is Ava and I am 25.

    First of all I want to say sharing your story is an important thing; it is important to help you deal with all these emotions and fears you have.
    Also other people out there are going through/have gone through similar things and reading it will be helpful to them as well.

    When I was 10 I used to have sleepovers with a girl who would also wanted to do sexual things with me. When I tried to avoid her she told the teachers, who then said I had to be friends with her. Who would think things like that actually happen until you experience it?!
    When I was 12 I was sexually harassed by someone who worked at my school. The situation got worse, and lead to sexual assault. I told someone part of what happened and it got back to my mum that this creep was sexually harassing me, but I never told her the entire story. My mum tried to have the situation investigated, and the principal didn't want to deal with it, so she told him to take a year off (his wife had just had a baby, so it made sense).

    I also felt like an outcast and like people did not take me seriously. Actually, I didn't find real, supportive friends until 2 and a half years ago (not that I didn’t have friends before). For years I struggled with fluctuating emotions and still sometimes have a fear of not being believed. But, I just graduated from University and have a wonderful boyfriend who treats me well and thinks I'm strong for surviving what happened.

    It is important to talk about what happened. Have you tried talking about this with your step-mum? If she knows you well and you trust her, she might be a really good ally for you.
    You might want to think about changing schools, if it is possible this year. If it is not possible this year, please hang in there. You will not be at your school forever. When you go to high school you will escape some of these people. It feels like an eternity now, but it will go by faster than you think if you try to focus on other things (hard as it is). There are better times heading your way.
    This might sound silly, but keeping a diary, dance, sports, looking after animals, drawing/painting, writing songs or poetry, listening to music, or another activity you enjoy might help you to release your feelings.

    All of the horrible things that happened to you are not a reflection of your worth; it is a reflection of how little they are worth. It's one thing to know that in your mind, but it will probably take years for it to sink in emotionally.
    Hope this helps!

    Ava

    ReplyDelete
  40. I was raped last year when I was 17.
    It effected me awfully, in the beginning stages after it happened I was effected by basically everything that is said in the start of this answer..I was in shock,I felt numb, scared, terrified and I honestly had just turned into a completely different person.
    It's been nearly a year since it's happened and although i've now gone back to college and have been less scared of going(which I couldn't do before)I am still ridiculously wary of everything and everyone, if I'm left on my own somewhere I'm not used to or with someone I don't know well I panic, i've recently began having awful nightmares about my attacker and it's awful to live with, I'm on anti-depressants and have counselling but I think recovery from something so awful is going to be a lifetime thing, it's always going to be there. The thing that gets me through each day is that I have a wonderful family who have gotten me through everything and are always there for me and the fact that I don't want to let the person who did this to me stop me from living my life. It was his problem, not mine and I eventually realised that instead of blaming myself and saying what if i did this or did that.

    I reported it to the police the night it happened, it was awful and I had to stand up in court and tell everyone what had happened. Awfully he was found not guilty but I've read a lot about this and it's very common, when that was reached as the verdict my whole world crumbled around me, I felt empty and scared but I am glad I did it no matter what, I stood up and I told the truth, it is also not my fault that the british justice system isn't great but even though he was found not guilty he was still remanded in prison for 6 months and has now moved far away from him because people know what he is, it isn't justice enough but it's something. Rape is an awful thing and when it happens to you it changes your life but we have to not let these monsters destroy our lives and carry on best we can. If you've not reported it to the police, do so now, it's hard, Oh i know how hard it is but it's something you need to do, I wouldn't wish what happened to me on my worse enenemy.
    x

    ReplyDelete
  41. I am a 45 year old man i was raped at 8 years old i think it has left me emotionally and maybe mentally disturbed if thats possible i am going to start seeing amental health specialist can these things cause personality disorders

    ReplyDelete
  42. Yes, childhood rape can cause personality disorders. My sister's girlfriend was repeatedly raped as a child and now has borderline personality disorder. If you have a personality disorder, make sure that you see a mental health specialist who is appropriately qualified. You will need to see them at least twice a week for some time for much effect to be felt. I would really recommend also figuring out what it is in life that you're passionate about, that makes you proud, and doing that ALL THE TIME. Pushing yourself when you feel like maybe you're not that great at it. You are. Believe in yourself and be proud of the amazing individual that you are.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you from 45 year old male

      Delete
  43. I am in a relationship with a man and have grown to care for him a lot. Recently I found a video of him with another woman and several other people were involved too. I am devastated, hurt, and utterly disgusted by this. He swears it is old and that lifestyle is not what he wants. Besides this new information about his supposed "past" abhorent behavior. I have often felt he was "robotic" - doesn't reveal, share, or talk about emotions.When I confronted him about the.tape and asked him how a person could be involved in such unfathomable behavior. AI asked him if he had been molested. I don't know if I believe him but he seemed to be crying and admitted he was raped by some boys in the fifth grade. He damned me for reminding him and hung up on me. He is 47 now. What should or could I do?

    ReplyDelete
  44. At the age of 13 (now 38) my mum was unable to take care of us when we came to America and so she gave me away to my "uncle" (her brother) who I thought we could trust and supposedly a father figure. But unfortunately for me, I was raped, beaten, threatened & brain washed. I had no where to go & no one to turn to at that time. I was weak and scared and I just wanted be gone or die. I still wonder why Mum didn't do anything after I told her. Her answer was "because it's such an embarrassment to the family"... What kind of a mother would think that!!! After 25 yrs of trying to pretend and hide the pain, I would like to try & get help. I am now happily married with adorable twin daughters (1 yr olds). My husband understands & accepts me for I am and still loved me for what I become. I guess there is always a happy ending to a story after all.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Hi my name is Ronel, I was raped by my Dad when I was 10 years old. My mom and dad had an argument and my om left the home with my sister. I was left fast asleep on the floor in the bedroom. My dad. Limbed through the window, he was drunk and full of rage! The chest of drawers fell on me ..... My dad was vilant with me, he hit me in the face and the raped me.
    This incident was so traumatic that I blocked it out of my memory - totally! Now at the age of 44 it was brought to my conscious as I have been struggling with some emotional problems that came to a point where I became totally dysfunctional.
    I am so confused with my emotions that I am experiencing now. Please could someone just explain this to me. After I had my hypnotherapy, which was a great shock to me as I thought maybe I made it all up .... But then my body started to have all the pain I had back then, the flash backs ...... The pain in my little "private" it all remained in my body for a week .... How do you go on from here? Both my parents are deceased. I like to believe that I have forgiven him. Even if it is for my own sanity! He is not alive to defend himself. I have sympathy for him. He was frustrated and felt inadequate in his marriage, he drank too much and he smoked dagga.
    But now I am stuck with the little girls trauma in my body with pain now and then. How do I make sense of this and what are the steps forward, I have a wonderful loving and caring husband.


    Please help me.

    ReplyDelete
  46. I am 19 years old now. I have done many things such as counseling for about a year after my rape and a program called Pathways recently that helps you overcome your past. I was raped from the age of 3 to 4 by my step dad but i thought he was my real dad until i was 12. I feel like i have done a lot to move past it. I talk about it sometimes with my boyfriend who i am now promised to, and that helps. But sometimes i feel embarrassed that i can't just get over it. And it seems like i know everything in my mind, but my emotions subconsciously come up from that encounter. It's like it still bothers me very much but I don't feel like i should feel that way because it happened so long ago. It's like I'm overreacting. Sometimes when me and my bf have sex, I feel used and worthless, but he is not that way at all. He treats me so great and with so much love and respect and sees me as a gift from God. I know it is just the emotions from when i was young, but how do you get rid of that so that your relationship can prosper normally?

    ReplyDelete
  47. Are you still a virgin if you were raped at 7 years old???

    ReplyDelete
  48. I am a 20 year old female and I was recently (2 wks ago) date raped by a close friend at another friends party. I do not remember it because I was passed out, but when I woke up my clothes were on wrong and my bra was undone. The only reason I know it was him is because he was the only person in the room and I recently saw him again and he was acting very strange and almost guilty.

    I told a couple of my friends about it and they are very supportive but I know they don't want to talk about it anymore, especially because they are friends with my alleged molester/rapist. I feel like my feelings (crying alot, excessive drinking, lack of appetite, poor sleep) are unwarranted because I was not conscious, I have no memory of what happened, and I was not violently raped. I told my bf of 3 years about what happened but I did not tell him who did it because I know he will kill him or at least beat the shit out of him. I feel like I may need to break up with my bf because it's just too hard.

    I don't want to go to therapy because I can't afford it and I'm pretty sure I know exactly what they would say. I have not confronted my alleged rapist because I am pretty sure he would just deny it anyway and I don't want to be alone with him to talk about it but I feel like you shouldn't accuse people of rape over text message?

    I feel like I'm overreacting to the situation but I feel violated and starting to feel depressed. I don't know where else to turn but anonymous message boards so thanks for writing an article and comments so I can see I am not alone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are not overreacting at all. I had the misfortune of being raped when I was conscious and when I was passed out. I still don't know which is worse. Both still give me a sick feeling when I think about it. It's really scary to wake up and find your skirt riding up your legs or your panties on skew. It's absolutely disgusting what this guy did to you. Report him to the police please, it will make you feel stronger within yourself. I hope you heal. There are always people willing to listen. Rape should not be a taboo'd subject. We cannot suffer in silence. Look after yourself.

      Delete
  49. I was raped twice. And molested. the first time was by my younger brother friend who was in high school at the time. when i was about 9 or 10 i cant really remember but what i do remember was that my brother took me to the alley were his friend chris was waiting.he bend me over took of my pants then he been to rape me well my brother just stand there looking i didnt know if i should cry or not i was just there frozen with disgust i didnt know if it was my fault i didnt know what to do. The second my cousin lee came in my mom room were i was laying and got in the bed with me and pulled me to the edge and pullex my pants down and raped me. chris molested me everytime my mom told me to go get my brother from over there i always fought to not go but she just yelled at me and made me he would pin me up against the wall and try to kiss and touch my private areas but i would fight but not hard cause i was scared he would hit me cause he would get angry. the last time he did this my mom saw but she just pulled my hair and said that i was being a hoe i was just a little girl at the time.my cusin brian start to molest me when my family move in to my auntie house i was eleven.i cant tell my mom cause i think she will blame me.i know been dating my boyfriend for 3 years i am now 19 he is the only one i trust i told him and he has been my support system he tells me when im ready he will be there when i tell my mom want happen but i just cant i cant. its all like little clips when i get these flashbacks :/ i hate myself i do

    ReplyDelete
  50. My story I guess is no different than the others but anyways, I was raped when I was seven years old I was taking my dog out in a field and while my dog was sniffing the ground I sat down. While I was sitting there a guy cam up to me and sat by me back then I like meeting new people but I didn't talk to him. He got up and covered my mouth and held me down and raped me, when my dog started barking he left. I never told anyone not even my parents or friends or anyone close, I'm scared they probably wont believe me or they'll think its my fault for not being careful. My past has been haunting me coming back as nightmares and I blame myself for everything that happened for trusting and now I cant trust anyone or myself. Now I cut myself because I feel angry, scared and frustrated and so confuse, I don't know what to feel. I hate the flashbacks I feel ashamed and I cant sleep at night I hate myself I get scared when someone touches me and I didn't see them coming or I didn't know them. I don't know what I should do its tearing me apart but its nice to know that I'm not alone in this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its not your fault you was 7 i was sexually assalted by my cousin when i was younger im almost 17 now and in therapy if u tell ur mum or someone they WILL help or go to a councellor

      Delete
  51. I was raped by a family friend when I was 11. He said to never tell, I would not be believed. When I was 12 I told my mother about it. She grounded me, then quit talking to me. She kicked me out of the house by the time I was 13. She said that I was a dirty horrable lier. I tried blocking out everything. I am now 40 and just trying to function.

    ReplyDelete
  52. i was sexually abused when i was 6or 7 i dont remember it ol perfectly but it was my landlords son...now i m 18+..can u pl tell me wat it effect on mie life wen i have a bf or a husband...if i would not tell them about it..will they able to know about it.

    ReplyDelete
  53. I was raped a year ago I still get very angry and sometimes i get flash backs start getting headaches I make jokes about rape sometimes I wake up screaming I don't like going out I hate guys and I feel un easy when they're around I get anxiety and I am always depressed...........will this go away?

    ReplyDelete
  54. My closest friend told me today that she was raped repeatedly by her mum's ex boyfriend when she was 7 years old. she has depression and is self harming, her mum doesn't know, and when she tried to tell her mum she brushed her off telling her she was lying. I don't know what to do to try and help my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  55. i was raped by my cousin when i was 9 years old,i didnt know i was raped at that time because he said he were playing with me.i have some images and flashbacks of that time but besides that i dont remember anything.i dont remember how many times he did that,i only remember not liking it,when i was older he pretended as if nothing happened,me too was confused whether i was raped or not.it all happened before i had menses or my knowledge about sexuality.but i had developed habits like carelessness,numbness,guity feelings,watching tvs excessively,reading fictions alot,not trusting anyone,i had also suffered depression at teeenage.now i am 22 years old and recently i shared this secreat with who was also childhood abuse victim.i cried so hard and accepted the fact which i was suppressing for many years.i also told my mom and she was supportive,i felt so releived after that like i had shove off heavy burden from my shoulder,but nowdays i am developing good attitudes to overcome my bad ones.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Hi! I am 22yrs and i need help. my mother ws raped by his brother not by sharin moms or dad but who is a family relative. My mom told me abt this n ever since i knew abt it i nevr talked abt it, i feel ashemed, i fake my self i am nt the real me. I think abt it every day that i am a child of rape n it kills me. Nw i hv a child n the father of my child want to leave m coz i hv issues dat are nt dealt with n i cnt tel him dat i am like ths, coz i dnt feel ok around him. Cn u plz plz hlp m how do i get through al ths witout loosing da 1 i lov.

    ReplyDelete
  57. it started with my dad and our French kissing.i guess I was around five or six.i didn't know it was wrong,i feel sick to say that I thought it was nice,we called them funny kisses. one day he said no and stopped it; I was confused. around twelve more sexual things happened to me; but I knew it wasn't right not one bit. things kept happening to me and I became quite sexual in my body movements and such; abit hard to explain.i was nt fucked,not that I can remember anyway.i had real intercourse at fifteen. I always had massive issues with them touching my nipples still do. I hated breast feeding I would cry everytime.i was raped by a friend at twenty who admitted it after a year or so, I was so flirty that no one would have believed me. ive never really liked sex its always an issue with my partners as I VOID AND USE EVERY EXCUSE I can think of to get out of doing it.i have ptss massive anxiety depression ive tried to kill myself so many times just about succeeded for times.my physchiatrist is pretty good but of late not so much and totally doesn't want to hear about the sexual things that have happened to me.he makes me feel like I make them up;im so over that shit im actually getting angry right now and my hands are sising up got ago sz firko nom...ok back now I have some kind of seizures now which I say are stressed relted.anyhow its made me very tired and so I cant say anymore right now except you are not alone that sounds so silly I want to say more but my heads a mess that happens after one of my fits or I mean im just tired now or sumthing im sorry im a rambling.love to all of you and il write more soon.thanks to if you gave thas your time thanks mean it.jaxs

    ReplyDelete
  58. I was raped by my father. It started when i was around 10-13 years old and continued til I was 16-17. When I finally told someone, my family didnt believe me, they called me a dirty liar. Im now 24 and although I've been 'over it' for years, recently ive been thinking about it and I dont know why. I hope everyone out there comes out and tells someone regardless of what happens after, it will be better than continuing with the abuse. Stay safe

    ReplyDelete
  59. I don't know if you can help. I don't live in America so your helplines are useless. I was raped and molested as a young teenager and as a child, for the most part I dealt with things normally. I grew up, and fast. I abused drugs. I allowed my cousins boyfriend to sleep with me just so I could get drugs. Then for a couple of years I was absolutely normal. Antisocial, and withdrawn, but no more drugs. After I left school I took a gap year and started waitressing. There I got involved with a married man (separated) it turned into an ugly and abusive affair. I do not understand how I am capable of this. My morals are in check. I volunteer with the police as a trauma counselor, I've applied to University. I still can't seem to form a meaningful relationship with a guy. What scares me the most is that even know at my current job as a receptionist I have a crush on my married boss. I have not, and do not intend to follow through with anything sinister. But it scares me, and I'm scared of him, I'm scared he might know. I feel powerless, not because I would succumb to him but because I have these unthinkable fantasies in the first place. I feel utterly alone in this.

    ReplyDelete
  60. I was raped at 17 at the river by someone I've known since I was 8 years of age I try to forget about it but I can't

    ReplyDelete
  61. I was raped about 7/8 very often also my sister she said she stay till I was 16and. She went before So at 15 I left home and abused drugs and booze I've been ganged raped and more raped even locked in a house and raped I am 22 now I'm always angry and stressful I'm that stress I have pains in my head and spine got bots am in a relationship and I can't trust even I should I have fear if I can have children I don't wanna leave my children to have same in trying to change my self because my partner can't corp

    ReplyDelete
  62. I was 17 when I was raped. I reported it when I was 18 because I saw that David raped someone else in the paper. I had told people he had raped me so, when he showed up in the paper I thought it would prove to people that I wasn't lying. The cops ran over my case and claims like they were nothing. I am now 22 and this boy still runs the streets. I will not rest until he is locked up.

    ReplyDelete
  63. I was raped when I was 11 years old by my ex stepdad. My mom had overdosed and i woke up to flashing lights on the hallway wall, and got up to see paramedics running in and out of my mom's room, and they were wheeling her out to the ambulance. My ex stepdad came up to me, and closed me in my bedroom til they were gone, and that was when he raped me. I don't remember the details of the actual rape, i tried to block those out, as anyone would do. He then left me at home by myself sitting watching TV with the family dog at 3AM. The show that was on was That's So Raven, but I couldn't even watch it cause I was still in shock and crying so much. So, the years went on, and I went through multiple therapists for my mental health issues (i currently am diagnosed with Schizo-affective disorder [diagnosed in 2009], ADHD, and Asperger's syndrome.), and every time i got a new therapist, I tried to tell them what happened that night, but none of them ever believed me because before i got the Schizo-affective diagnosis, they would consult my mom about everything since she was my guardian, and they are able to talk to her about anything that they have concerns about, and she would tell them that there was no way that he would have done that, and then after my diagnosis in 2009, they used that as an excuse saying that i didn't know what i was talking about because i am delusional (i hear voices, not see things), so they brushed it off. Another reason that they said he couldn't have done that was because at the time, he was the assistant county attorney for the county where we still live, and that would have gone against their morals and statue of limitations to question him. So, I've lived my life hating his guts and wishing he would die and rot in hell, and when I ran into him one time on a psych ward (he had moved to the juvenile area of the job), I ran the other way and went to my room and cried for 5 hours straight because the memories started flooding back in. So, I'm now 20 years old, and my sister is pregnant, and is wanting to have my ex stepdad in the delivery room when she has her kid. I have tried telling her that that is not going to go over well with my mom or I because of how he treated both of us, and she isn't budging. Neither she or my mom know that he raped me, my mom because i dont think she would believe me still, and i'm afraid to tell her because she's emotionally unstable right now, and my sister doesn't know because she's been all buddy-buddy with him still, and I don;t think she would believe me either.

    I"m writing this post because I don't know what to do. I want to tell my sister so that she will see who he really is, and so that she will know what really happened and why I hate him so much, and also so that she will not allow him to be there when her baby is born, and there won't be as much stress, but i also know that if i tell her, she will end up telling my mom because my mom will wonder why she changed her mind all of a sudden, and once my mom finds out, I'm afraid that she will blame herself because "had she not overdosed that one night, this never would have happened" and try to commit suicide again.

    I don't know what to do. Someone, please help me?

    ReplyDelete
  64. When I was 15 I got my first real boyfriend so I was really excited. After a short while I started going to his house after school because he didn't like my house or hobbies. At his house he told me we should have sec. I protested hut he convinced me that I would probably never have sex otherwise, and since I already had self esteem issues I said yes though I still really didn't want to.

    Soon it came to where when I was at his house he expected me to lay down and deal with it. Afterwards he hardly said anything till my mom picked me up. If I protested he'd tell me he couldn't sleep if we didn't or some other lie about his health so I would feel guilty. He regularly insulted me and told me I was worthless, going so far as to break up with me until I acted better. The second time he did that he faked suicide because I didn't want him in my life.

    I had three boyfriends since him and for a long time it didn't matter. Now I'm with a boy I love very much and recently its started to bother me again. I didn't tell anyone at the time because I felt like since I said yes it didn't count, but it haunted me anyway. I don't know if you consider it to be or not, I just want it to stop bothering me so it doesn't ruin my current relationship. I just want it to go away.

    ReplyDelete
  65. i was sexually abused when i was 7 til i turned 17. by my stepdad he use to tell me all the time that if i didnt do what he said that he wouldnt let me do anything that i wanted and if i would tell that no one would believe me and that my mom would have no money to take care of me nd my 3 lil brothers. its hard to talk about im 18 now and my dad just found out and he wants me to call the cops but i cant cause idk whatll happen to my mom and my 3 lil brothers im scared depressed and can hardly sleep i barely talk to anyone nd if i do its not about my feelings i can never have an emotional bond in a relationship and im single now and will always be cause i cant take the flashbacks .. i cant be in pitch black or walk alone by myself cause im afraid its gonna happen again. ive tried killing myself but i cant actually do it because of my dad. he cant lose me too. and i still have no clue what im going to do .. i just wish none of this woulda happened. it stopped when i told my mom but no one believed me. my mom and older brother told me i was lying cause they believed him not me ... i couldnt tell anybody after that cause i knew they wont believe me which is why i also dont wanna go to the cops cause what if they dont believe me or blame it on me....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When you report him, take your father for support if possible. Prayer has been my only true relief. I turned to God because it was too much too handle and like must of us who experienced it, i wanted to disappear and wished it never happened. I was haunted and tormented by it for years. When i thought about suicide i remembered that hell is a billion times worse. Giving up on life is giving up on Gods plans for our life. We need to trust him and turn to him. He will save you (all of you suffering) from your fears and pain. He loves you dearly and wants to help you but you need to ask for it through prayer. He will turn the all bad into good.

      Delete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.